Finding Joy In The Journey

The Reason Letting Go is Vital in Relationships

THE STORY

One Sunday afternoon, my father—a pastor at the time—came home from church and shared with the family some news about a beloved couple. 

They were leaving. 

The news crushed my family with a wave of disappointment and discouragement. There are people one may wish would leave the church and there are others one hope’s will never leave. This couple was the latter not the former. I immediately thought about all the ways their presence would be sorely missed. Then quickly, I thought of attendance numbers and how frustrating it is to lose such great people when we were finally on an upward swing of momentum. 

My father continued to share how a great job opportunity had presented itself, how it seemed like the right time to move for this couple. My mind was racing and my dad’s words left me flabbergasted. 

“Why didn’t he encourage them to stay? We need them here! Is this really God’s will when there is so much to be done in this city?” I thought to myself. 

I focused on the hole they would leave, not the benefits this new opportunity offered for them. My dad’s response to this obviously sad news left me amazed. How could he just let them go without trying to convince them to stay?

Love.

Love and care for his church family, concern for their wellbeing more than how it would impact his work, the church, and so on. My dad saw the good for those he loved despite the cost it would bring to him personally. 

THE LESSON

The much younger me wanted to control and keep everyone around, so that the church could flourish. I missed entirely the point of what the Church is and how real love works. Love lets them go when it is time. Love serves and gives continually even when the investment benefits others more than oneself.

THE CHALLENGE

This lesson applies far beyond the relationship of a pastor with a congregation. Even if ministry is not our vocation, life offers many opportunities to love others when it isn’t beneficial for us. We have the choice to either control or let go. Sadly, we use God’s name to wield power over people instead of seeing with His eyes and discerning what He is doing in the lives of others. We aren’t good at letting go; in other words, we aren’t good at loving others. 

THE QUESTION

Where do you need to love someone enough to let them go today? 

Why Listening to Your “Old” Music is Good for You

A REMINDER

While hanging out with a friend last week, music played quietly in the background. Suddenly, the fun, lively music was replaced with a sweet melody of worship (“Simplicity” by Rend Collective). Oh random shuffle and all its delights.

The specific song that softly began to play quickly transported me back to a season I would not care to revisit. Each word sung revived forgotten moments of tearful worship and honest words with God. 

Painful seasons do not come in a one-size-fits-all format. Even still, songs can mark these moments in our lives like altars of remembrance. They can act as anchors during the troubled times.

A DIFFICULT PRAYER

As the song continued to play, another memory revived itself. A few years ago, one line in particular had been annoying to me. 

“Lord, strip it all away ’til only You remain.” 

These words were too real, too raw to pray at one point in my life. I was not amused or enthused that these words were coming to life without my permission. I’d often skip that line and sing all the rest while thinking, “You’ve stripped enough, Lord. People who sing that line don’t know what they are asking!”

We pray difficult prayers in easy seasons without realizing the magnitude of the words we pray. “Take me deeper where my trust is without borders” (“Oceans” by Hillsong United). Are you sure that is your prayer? Deeper trust and greater endurance are most often the fruit of intense pain and serious pruning.

A GRATEFUL HEART

Yet, last week, something remarkable happened when I heard this memory-filled song. While the melody sent me back to days gone by, it also became a new altar of remembrance. I am no longer stuck in that painful season. What a relief to acknowledge that even though circumstances haven’t changed, I HAVE CHANGED! God pruned and there is new life, new growth coming forth. 

We are often ignorant of how far we’ve come until something triggers a memory of what once was. Since that sacred musical moment last week, I’ve been singing that song with joy and thanksgiving. “Suffering is never for nothing” as Elisabeth Elliot says. I can see it today and I hope you can see it in your own life as well. God is at work and we are not what we once were. Hallelujah. 

A CHALLENGE

When you have a free moment, why not select an old playlist or album and take a trip down memory lane. It might surprise you what you’ll discover.

Sometimes I’m Disappointed with Myself

CONFESSION

At times I grow weary and disappointed with myself. I envision where I’d like to be and dream of the person I long to become. I’m determined to succeed. I see the areas that need improvement, so I read, pray, reflect, and do everything I can to grow into the version of me that I desire to be.

The problem is growth takes so much longer than I’d like!

UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS

When I’m honest with myself, my expectations are a wee bit unrealistic. I see them for what they are when they are words written on paper.

  • I want the wisdom of someone in their 80’s but in my 30’s.
  • I want maturity and depth produced in the speed of a microwave instead of life’s slow cooker.
  • I want loads of experience without the trials and pain that often accompany it.
  • I want to be like pure gold without the heat of the refiner’s fire removing all the impurities. 

RELEASING CONTROL

When I notice the looming discouragement over my progress, I must recognize how easy it is to forget how much I’ve grown. I lose track of how much I’ve already learned. In the pursuit of the idol of “MORE, BETTER, BEST,” I step out of my role as a lump of clay in the Potter’s hands and try to mold myself with all the resources at my fingertips. I make a mess when I try to do it my own way, even when I have the best of intentions, even when I want to improve for godly reasons.

The lesson must be learned once again. I must surrender my lofty goals and unrealistic expectations. Relinquishing my attempts at perfection and my false assumptions about the “ideal Joy,” I can rejoice in the safety and the guidance of my Potter’s hands molding and making me. 

When I follow His lead, He can make growth happen so much faster than I ever could. He can also go at the perfect pace for this little stubborn human. Surrender brings peace and removes discouragement. Surrender reminds me of who I am and who He is. 

Today, I rejoice that I am a work in progress. How wonderful it is that the Potter knows how to perfectly mold and make me into what He desires. He has plenty of patience and grace for me; I need to have a bit for myself as well.

PRAYER

Heavenly Father, we are often foolish to believe we can do many things on our own. The truth is we can’t. We are in desperate need of you in every aspect of our lives. Today, we surrender yet again. We are simply little lumps of clay. Mold us into what You desire and let it be for Your glory alone. Amen. 

A Vital Lesson from a Young Woman’s Prayer

Praying Together

Recently during a time of prayer, a young woman lifted up her voice to God. She is blessed with an outward beauty, but as she voiced her prayer, the hidden beauty of her heart became evident as well. She expressed a sweet anthem to the God who deserves all adoration. Her prayer was in fact praise.

Not surprisingly, hearing her heartfelt prayer brought tears to my eyes.

Truth be told, these are not easy words to say in her current situation. She has struggled and continues to struggle. Her story is not mine to tell, but life has been disproportionately unfair to her. Despite her circumstances and the many reasons she could’ve abandoned God, she has not let go. Through it all, it is clear that God has not let go of her either. 

Question: Are we allowing discomforts and difficulties to silence our praise to God?

I am challenged by her sweet words of praise and worship. Even when life throws its worst punches, I long to remain steadfast. I want to remain full of trust when circumstances force me to ask the toughest questions about God. Even when life brings with it many bruises and burns, I want to lift up beautiful anthems of praise.

Today I am reminded that if this young woman can praise God, so can I. If she will choose to praise God, so will I.  

Prayer

Lord, no matter what we face this week, help us to choose to worship you. You already warned us that life would bring trouble and difficulty. Help us to face the challenging moments this week with a healthy dose of worship. You don’t want us to ignore the pain, but you also don’t want us to forget that you are on the throne. So, today, we declare that all glory and honor belongs to you. You are good even when life is not. Today, we choose to worship You. Amen.

Living Generously: A Story about Deodorant

CONTEXT : Deodorant is not the same in France. Effectiveness suffers in favor of protecting people from harmful ingredients. I’m a fan of protecting the people. My friends call me a bit of a hippie when it comes to the weird things I’ll use or eat to be “healthy.” Nonetheless, I want to smell nice, too.

A couple years ago I discovered a great natural option that works well for me, that isn’t a paste I have to rub on and that omits the harmful stuff. The problem is that it is hard to find here in France. I’m a planner by nature, so I get my stockpile in the U.S. whenever I’m home.

Last month, I listened to a fabulous sermon series on stewardship and generosity. The series was a great reinforcement for what I already do and a challenge to go beyond. At one point during the series, the pastor reminded his congregation (and me!) that ultimately ALL we have belongs to God. We are simply taking care of what He has entrusted to us.

CONFESSION: Cue a discussion about deodorant. 

I felt a nudge in my heart to give one of my precious deodorants to a friend. Immediately, my thoughts went like this:

“Will the others I stockpiled last me through the year? This one is my favorite scent. Do I really have to give it, God?” 

The reply I heard in my heart: “It’s not yours, Joy.”

Truth pierced through my stinginess. It’s a silly example of a profound principle. God generously gives in word and deed. I, too, am called to be like my Heavenly Father. When I see a need and He says to give, I am to give joyfully without hesitation because all I have is His anyway.

There are many areas of generosity that are much easier for me. I feel embarrassed to say that I hesitated with deodorant. Who does that?! God wants me to loosen my grip on what I think is mine and live like I trust my Father. Honestly, He takes care of me in spectacular ways. I’m often stunned by His goodness. Thankfully, He is also so gracious and so kind to show me in even the small, silly areas where I’m not living like Him.

QUESTION: Where do you need to loosen your grip on what is “yours” and live more generously?

PRAYER: Heavenly Father, help us to be like you today—stewarding well what you’ve placed in our hands and ready to give generously. It doesn’t matter how much we have in comparison to what others have. ALL we have is yours. Show us what to give, how to give, and to whom we should give this week. May your people be known as the most generous people on the planet, a people who are just like their Heavenly Father. Amen.  

One Way to Avoid Communication Blunders

Confession: I did not communicate effectively in a meeting last week. At one point during a discussion, my words did not match my heart’s intent. What I thought I said in kindness came out awkward and off. 

The worst part is that I didn’t even realize it!

Thankfully, my co-leader pointed out this epic fail to me after the meeting. I thought explaining what I intended to say would help her understand how my words were meant to be positive not negative. Of course, I thought she needed the clarification to see how I was right. Another fail. My explanation only validated how I missed the mark in communicating with one of our interns. I was horrified. 

I quickly made amends for the poor communication. The intern was gracious with me and knew my heart was not to hurt or offend her. [Sigh of relief]

Yet, how often throughout my week does this happen without someone present to point out my blunders? 

Clear communication is a necessity and a challenge in day-to-day living. How people express themselves–their word choice, their tone and the filters both the speaker and listener have–can help or hurt effective communication. While we can’t control other people’s interpretation of our words, we can do a better job at presenting information clearly.

Why did I make such a blunder last week? To list a few reasons that are apparent to me in this moment:

  • I’ve been overworking.
  • I’ve been tired. 
  • I’ve been stressed.
  • I’ve needed more quiet time to notice what is going in my heart.
  • I’ve needed more time to listen to the Lord and hear His Words.

Communicating well, in my opinion, necessitates self-care. If we take care of ourselves, we can take better care of others around us. It’s part of the “love your neighbor as yourself” principle (Matt. 22:39). When we are in better shape emotionally, physically, and spiritually, our communication improves. We reflect Jesus better. It’s a simple truth with lasting impact on those around us.

My prayer is that we will take care of ourselves a bit better this week, so that we can wield our words with more grace and clarity. The world needs better Christians and better communicators! 

Set a guard over my mouth, Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips. -Psalm 141:3


God, Keep Her Safe

I find myself whispering a little prayer these days. No doubt it’s because I am regularly in contact with women in some of the worst conditions on the streets. My heart strings are tugged, even ripped out, because of situations I see and hear. My prayer, without even being conscious of it until recently, has become a basic request throughout my day.

A little girl on her way to school is bundled up in a scarf and coat and I whisper in my heart:

God, keep her safe.

A lovely teen is surrounded by boys on the tram and I silently pray:

God, keep her safe.

A woman stands on the street corner with a deep pain evident on her face and I say:

God, keep her safe.

Asking God to protect women in every stage of life, the young and the old, the weak and the strong, is not a bad prayer to pray. Prayers of protection are found throughout scripture. My work let’s me encounter too many who have not been kept safe from evil.

I want to pray God’s protection over as many as I can and be a source of protection for those within my reach. I will, along with many other requests for these women, say a simple prayer that comes from deep within me.

God, keep them safe.

“The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.” -Psalm 18:2

One Thing Many Christians Forget Today

“You may be the only person to pay your student(s) a compliment all day, all week, all month!”

My mentor teacher passionately spoke these words to me in my first few months of teaching high school. She reminded me of this truth when I was struggling with some of my worst students all crammed into the same class period. I wanted to pluck out my eyes and pull out my hair because of how challenging some of them were. Yet, my mentor teacher believed with her whole heart that our words hold much power, especially for those tough cases in the classroom.

I have never forgotten her words.

As a new teacher, my standards were high, but my experience level was low. I wanted to be someone my students remembered as a positive influence and a fabulous teacher. The problem was that I knew so little about the young men and women in my classes. How could I know everything about more than 100 students filtering through my classroom each week? 

Despite my frustration with some of my most trying students, I pondered soberingly:

  • What was life like for them at home? 
  • Did they have friends, I mean, real friends? 
  • What were their struggles, insecurities, and doubts? 
  • Is anyone they know looking for ways to encourage them today?

I could search their grade point average on the school database and gauge their academic status, but that was rarely the most important information to help them flourish.

While this episode in my life was specific to my teaching position, it reaches far beyond the classroom. Are we, as Christians, adding or subtracting to the lives of people we encounter each day? Are we, as followers of Jesus, asking the same questions about the difficult people we know:

What is life like at home for them? Do they have friends, I mean, real friends? What are their struggles? Is anyone they know looking for ways to encourage them today?

We have a long way to go in loving people as Christ loved us. God help us to be kind.

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. – Colossians 3:12

The Bible Makes Me Feel Bad About Myself

Like many good Christians, I try to start my morning with a cup of coffee and scripture. Opening my Bible, I often linger in shorter portions of the Word for weeks at a time. Slowly, I read and reread the verses to allow it to soak into my soul. My competitive, read-as-much-as-I-can nature fights the slow reading of scripture, but it is vital for me to go at a turtle’s pace. I hear and see much better when I linger long in books, chapters and verses of the Bible.

Each morning, scripture is my dose of encouragement and rebuke. As much as scripture can bring hope and encouragement, it also makes me feel bad about myself. And it should. 

I desperately need the instructions and the strong teachings the Word provides.

Honestly, I am more like a pharisee than I would care to admit. I, too, can behave just as foolishly as many people in the Old Testament and the New. I am closer than I realize to the ugliness of the stories of sinners who veered from God’s plans and impulsively responded in regretful ways. Thankfully, my embarrassing mistakes and sins will not be on public display for centuries to come in the most sold book in history.

The Bible makes me feel bad about myself and it is good. It reveals how I need a savior, how I can’t survive without dependence on God. The Bible shows me where my identity is still in the wrong things (performance, approval, etc.) and not in Christ.

Without hearing and reading scripture, I think I am much better than I am. I misrepresent Christ in ways that hurt those around me and distort the beauty and hope of the Good News. When I open my Bible and allow the words to shine a light on the ugly in me, God changes me. 

The Bible makes me feel bad about myself and I’m so glad it does. 

What Kind of MORE Do You Want in Life?

MORE. We all want more. More time. More money. More of whatever we desire but don’t have. It seems wired in us to want more. Yet, the incessant need for more contaminates our hearts and minds. It breeds discontentment, comparison, envy and a general dissatisfaction with the life we’ve been given.

The pursuit of more also makes us look at those who have what we want. We ask, “Why? Why them and not me?”

The whys often go in one direction–UP. Our eyes are on those who have or appear to have more than we do.

Because of my work with people in extreme difficulty, the why questions and my desire for MORE are confronted regularly. I’m forced to ask a different kind of why.

Why was I born in a wonderful nation and into a loving family? Why did I receive an excellent education when so many girls around the world have not? Why have I been healthy enough to work hard and make a living? Why do I have so much when others have so little?

When we ask these sobering questions, we realize how blessed we are. We realize our need for obtaining more for ourselves keeps us blind and lazy.

Instead of asking WHY, we need to ask WHAT.

  • What can I do to help more people?
  • What resources can I share with others?
  • What is God asking me to sacrifice for individuals who are suffering?
  • What can I do to love God and share His love with the world?

The problems I see on a daily basis are too much for me. They can be paralyzing. I don’t have enough to help everyone. Yet, I have something I can give and something I can do.

Let’s be people who ask what MORE we can give, do, be for others instead of what MORE we can hoard for ourselves. God has blessed us so much. Let’s go and bless the world around us TODAY.